


Not everything on the Internet is real

by TheOverlordOfIce



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Futaba knows about sex from the Internet, Haru needs more screentime, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, No Smut, Sex Talk, Teens being dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:55:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24238426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOverlordOfIce/pseuds/TheOverlordOfIce
Summary: Sometimes, we assume things that we hear as absolute truths. In those moments we need a helping hand to realize the error of our ways. In other words, Futaba thinks that girls having orgasms are a myth and the gang has to prove her wrong. Oh boy... (No smut)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Not everything on the Internet is real

**Author's Note:**

> Hello ladies and gentlemen, thank you for passing by.
> 
>   
> Today I bring you something different than usual, a Persona 5 fic! 
> 
>   
> The ones who know me will find this strange since I had only written for the Danganronpa fandom till now but I have an explanation. In certain Discord, we have some sort of friendly competition where someone gave us a prompt and we have to write a fic about it.
> 
>   
> This one was Persona 5 related and was made by Aravas. The prompt is as follow:
> 
>   
> During an idle conversation with the rest of the group, somehow the female orgasm gets mentioned. Futaba laughs and says, "The female orgasm doesn't exist." Now, the stunned Phantom Thieves resolve to prove her wrong, each in their own way."
> 
>   
> What a prompt, huh? Don't worry it won't get too raunchy... I think.
> 
>   
> With that said, I hope you enjoy it.

In the residential district of Yongen-Jaya, one could find the Cafe Leblanc a small and modest coffee shop owned by Sojiro Sakura. The place wasn't in the best spot to be popular, being inside an alleyway instead of the main street, but the Cafe earned its fair share of regulars thanks to the high-quality coffee and delicious curry provided by the middle-aged man with glasses.

It didn't make too much money but it was more of a way for him to pass the time, besides it also served as the hideout of a very special group.

The Phantom Thieves, a group of thieves that helped improve society by stealing the distorted desires of evil people, forcing them to change their ways and purify those dark hearts. The police were ignorant of the methods the group used to make such feats, but they would be more surprised to learn the infamous Phantom Thieves were formed by a bunch of teenagers and a cat.

The young group of lawbreakers were alone in the Cafe celebrating their last success, they just came back from stealing the Treasure of Kunizaku Okumura the third president of Okumura Foods and the father of one the Phantom Thieves, Haru Okumura.

All of the seven members were there.

Akira, the stoic but somehow charismatic leader of the group, was sipping his coffee before combing his messy black hair with a hand.

Morgana, the mentor/mascot of the teens, was simply grooming himself on the couch. Behavior that didn't help the cat to convince others that he was human.

Unlike his best friend, Ryuji preferred to drink some soda instead of the coffee, not liking how bitter it was. The blonde 'troublemaker' wasn't as tough as he wanted others to believe.

Talking about blondes, Ann was eyeing the desserts on the counters with hunger. The love for sweets of the girl with the pig-tails wasn't a secret to anyone and a few slices of cake couldn't hurt.

Then there was Yusuke, the extravagant artist of the Phantom Thieves. His unique behavior could be seen right now, the dark blue-haired boy had a plate of curry in front of him but wasn't eating it. Instead, he was fervently drawing something on his sketchbook, those gray eyes of his shined with inspiration. As if his muse was inside the tasty dish.

On the other end of the spectrum was Makoto, reading a magazine in silence. The girl was what one could expect from a member of the student council, always proper and diligent. At least until the brunette let her violent impulses run wild.

Besides her, Haru was gracefully sipping from a cup of coffee with lots of sugar. The rich girl was... oddly calm, taking into consideration that they defeated the manifestation of her father's darkness just a few hours ago. She definitely wasn't a dainty flower, even if the royal aura remained.

And finally, the last member made her entrance in the shop, Futaba Sakura took off her big glasses for a second before wiping away sweat from her face. The red-head hacker ran all the way here even when she lived only a street away and somehow managed to almost be late.

Now that the whole group was here, it was time to party! The teens ate, joked, and laughed together, they shared a bond that only people fighting for a bigger cause. Sure, sometimes they ruffled each other's feathers a bit too much but that's part of being friends too. The party went on and with it, the youngsters began to get a bit drunk on the atmosphere -nothing of alcohol, of course, they weren't that type of criminal- and so the topics of conversation started to swift to a more 'spicy' tone.

At first, it wasn't anything serious. Who had a crush on who? Who already had their first kiss and how it was? Things that won't even turn a nun's cheeks pink. But somehow all of it escalated out of control and now the Phantom Thieves were talking about sex, well, the little experience they had about it anyway. Ryuji, red as a tomato, joked about the fact that with how stiff Makoto was the girl probably never came in all her life.

Before the girl could answer with a punch to his face, Futaba let out a chuckle. "Don't be silly Ryuji, girls can't do that."

Suddenly everyone froze on the spot, the batteries in the radio dying just at the right moment to add dramatism to the scene. A deafening silence took hold of the room, the festive atmosphere from a minute ago completely obliterated by a few words of the young hacker.

The red-head looked around with nervous eyes, she wasn't exactly a 'people's person' so it wasn't strange of her to say something weird. "G-guys? What's wrong?"

After taking a sip from her drink to calm her parched throat, Ann asked Futaba with a kind tone. "Futaba, what do you mean with 'girls can't do that'?"

The bespectacled girl tilted her head in confusion, "Ya know, the whole... Sploosh!" She made a weird spraying motion with her hands to go with the sound.

"Sploosh? What a curious expression." Yusuke pinched his chin, the boy's brain trying what she could mean with that.

After fighting back a blush, the brawler of the team gathered the courage to ask. "Are you referring to an orgasm?"

The eyes of the girl relaxed as she gave a cheerful nod. "Yep, that's the one. I mean, sure it's fun to see it in manga or games but everyone knows that isn't real." Futaba's choice of manga and games aside, the rest of the teens have been silenced again. Which made the hacker very nervous. "Why does this keep happening every time I say something?!"

"Are you for real?" Ryuji scratched the back of his head in discomfort. "Girls can totally cum too ya know?"

"No, they can't" She instantly deadpanned.

"They do."

"They don't"

"They do!" The thickhead of the group slammed his hand on the table but starting to doubt himself, he wasn't a woman after all. "I mean, at least I think so..."

Ryuji looked at the female members of the group with wide eyes, the girls didn't say anything but their flustered expressions and the fact that none of them made eye contact told much more than words. At that reaction, the youngest of the group was stunned, it was as if someone just told her that Internet Explorer was better than Chrome.

"But how? Girls don't have any-" Futaba did a jerking motion with her hand that made Akira and Ryuji blush, and would have given Sujiro a heart-attack if present. "-to shoot."

"W-well..." The blonde boy wasn't one to back down from a fight but this was an exception. Looking around for an escape, he found it in the form of a black cat. "Hey Morgana, you are always boasting about how much you know about things. You tell her!"

"Meow?!" Being thrown under the bus so suddenly made the cat let out a weird sound. His blue eyes roaming around the room, sweat on his face. "Y-you see that's advanced human knowledge and I'm a simple cat so..."

"Bullshit! You insist all the time that you are actually a human!" Ryuji spat at Morgana's face. "Besides, a cat that talks aren't 'simple' at all."

"Shut it, you are too stupid to understand anyway!" The bandit cat spat back in anger.

"Whadda ya say?!"

The two were about to throw hands, paws in Morgana's case, before their leader step between them to stop the fight. The young hacker got no answer from that whole exchange, so she directed her glassed framed gaze to the most fashionable girl in the group.

That demanding stare made Ann very nervous, she did have experience on the matter but sure as hell the girl didn't want to admit that in front of everyone. "I-it's a bit hard to explain with words."

"Are you saying that you need some kind of visual aid?" There was a spark of interest in the eyes of Yusuke, a spark that turned into a raging fire of inspiration. "Yes, I see. An image can convey much more than simple words, please let me be of assistance." The extravagant artist looked at Ann with great intensity, seeing a Muse instead of a girl. "If only you are willing to bare yourself to me I-"

"That again!? How many times do I have to tell you? I won't pose naked!" The blonde girl hugged her own body protectively as she backed away from him. Ann knew that Yusuke was only interested in art and not her body but he could be quite the weirdo sometimes. After looking away from the sad blue-haired boy, Ann passed the hot potato. "Akira, any ideas?"

The teen with the messy black hair already put an end to the fight, Ryuji and Morgana were sitting at his side with a pout. The leader of the Phantom Thieves was a quiet individual, in fact, he hasn't talked at all during the whole party but it didn't mean that the boy wasn't listening. As he thought about the whole situation, several options appeared in his mind.

_I don't know, I'm not a woman._

_We should ask a teacher._

_I got this._

After a few seconds of pondering Akira chose.

**_I got this._ **

The former athlete halted his pouting to look at his friend with a raised eyebrow. "Sounds like you have a plan."

The leader nodded with a smirk, light reflecting on his glasses and giving him and imposing aura. Once everyone was paying attention, he spoke.

The plan was simple: First, they will take a short trip to Mementos. Driving through the depths of the collective unconsciousness of mankind until they find a female shadow. Once everything is ready, Akira will summon Mara and unleash the phallic Persona onto the defenseless shadow. At that point, Futaba simply has to watch nature run its course and the problem will be solved.

"It's like one of my Japanese animes!" The not so innocent girl declared with stars on her eyes.

However, Futaba was the only one excited by the idea. The rest of the group was looking at him with different levels of disgust.

The first one to speak was his friend Ryuji, who wasn't even looking at his eyes because of shame. "Dude, that sounds... kinda rapey."

"Yeah! That's totally sexual assault, how can you say something like that? You creep!" The sharp words of Ann stabbed his heart and soul like daggers.

"I have to agree, there is no beauty in such an act of depravity." Akira knew it was bad if even Yusuke was looking at him badly.

"Maybe being around so many distorted desires have affected your heart? You should go to sleep..." That was the stupid cat's answer for everything.

The final blow was dealt by the sweet Makoto, who now cold and distant eyes. The girl uttered a single word, "Disgusting."

Akira's glasses slid down his nose, all the air of dignity leaving the boy's body. Maybe it was because of the shock but he could felt his charisma levels going down the drain.

While everyone was berating the perverted leader Futaba pouted, no one was giving her any answer and instead, they were doing lame jokes. But there was still hope, using her best set of puppy eyes the red-head looked at the member of the student council. Even her voice was full of pretending sadness. "Makoto please," She whined, "You are really smart right? You explain it to me."

"What? Well, I..." The brunette blushed and tried to look away, but those big shiny eyes followed everywhere. _"What should I do?"_ Makoto didn't want to have this conversation at all but she had no other choice. For that, the girl did the same thing that she did on the exams. Stick to the things that were in the books.

"During arousal, blood flow to the genitals increases, causing them to become more sensitive. As arousal increases, a person's heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate may also increase. As orgasm approaches, the muscles may twitch or spasm. Many women experience rhythmic muscle spasms in the vagina during an orgasm and the brain is flooded by Dopamine which gives great pleasure."

Futaba's jaw was agape as the girl recited all of that information with a neutral tone and a serious face. Even the rest of the group stopped fighting to look at the girl with bewilderment on their faces.

The moment Makoto stopped, her cheeks turned pink and she lowered her gaze in shame. "T-that's what I read in a medical book once..."

"Okay, so they must be real then..."

Ann gently put her hand on Futaba's shoulder, looking at the girl with some worry. "It's fine Futaba, things like that aren't really that important."

"I know, I know... is just weird because I tried doing the same that in those videos but nothing happened." The usual chipper girl was now casting a sad glance at the ground. "Maybe there is something wrong with me?"

Once again, the mood around them shifted in an instant but this time it was a much sadder one. They hated seeing her likes this but none of them knew enough about the subject to help... or at least, that what they thought.

"If I may, I could be of assistance here." Haru's voice was sweet and kind, and yet, everyone let out a small scream of surprise before turning to see her.

"W-when did you get here?" Makoto asked while clutching her left arm, sweat on her brow.

At that question, Haru tilted her head to the side in a cute way. Her wavy brown hair bouncing a bit. "What do you mean? I have been here the whole time."

"You... where?" Yusuke tried to remember if such a statement was true and indeed it was. He could remember the girl quietly drinking coffee in the background. "You are right. My apologies, you don't seem to stand out too much."

"H-how can you say such a thing?" The rich girl's face adopted an expression of surprise, her eyes going misty. "We made this party to celebrate the defeat of my father. I knew that I needed more screentim-"

"We get it, sorry sorry. Just... help her out okay?" Ryuji interrupted Haru with his plea, face cherry red ad he only wanted all of this to end.

"... very well." After taking a long breath to calm herself, Haru stood and offered her hand to Futaba, her lips curving into a smile. "Do you believe in me Futaba-chan?"

The girl with the glasses looked at the hand and then at Haru's face, pure and radiant. Nodding she grabbed it and stood, face full of determination. "I do."

"Most excellent! We will be using the bathroom so please, wait here everyone." Squeezing Futaba's hand a bit, Haru dragged her to the bathroom before everyone's curious stares. "Now, Futaba-chan. Do you know what a clitoris is?"

With that shameless question, the girls disappeared behind the bathroom's door while the rest sat there dumbfounded. Almost ten minutes pass and the two of them were still inside, the other teens were doing their best to ignore the strange noises that were coming from that mysterious room.

Another ten minutes passed before that damn door finally opened, a smiling Haru came from it while drying her hands with a paper towel. "It's done, I'm sure it was a learning experience for her."

A moment later Futaba walked out, the girl's fiery hair was disheveled and messy. Her thick glasses were crocked and her usually pale face was now sweaty and flush.

Ann looked at her with worry, the girl seemed out of it. "Are... are you okay?" She finally asked, what the hell happened in that bathroom?

Those unfocused eyes of the hacker finally light up back to life. She raised her arms with energy before shouting with a deranged smile. "A NEW WORLD HAS BEEN OPENED BEFORE ME!"

Those were her last words before storming out the place like an apparition. Hollering and shouting on her way to God's know where. Silence reigned the room once more, no one knew what to say. No one wanted to say anything to be fair. Finally, a tired sigh of Akire broke the silence.

"Just go home..."

**_/-/_ **

Night came to the LeBlanc as Akira was laying down on his bed, all that fiasco of a party left the boy too tired to do anything at all besides lazing about. The teen's eyes were slowly closing, he barely heard the sound of a door opening downstairs over the snoring of the black cat on his lap. All that peace came crashing down when Sojiro kicked the door open with an angry scowl on his face and something large in his hands.

"What did you do to Futaba!?" Her legal caretaker shouted while Akira was still in a daze. Putting his glasses back on the boy saw what the man was carrying.

"I-is that a shotgun?" Morgana asked with pure terror in his voice.

Sojiro cocked the weapon.

"OH SHIT!"

It was another peaceful night at the LeBlanc.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's a wrap.
> 
> I must say, I'm not a huge expert on Persona 5 but I think this came out pretty well. 
> 
> Anyway, be safe everyone. I will see you in another story.


End file.
